Thursday, January 04, 2007

She Who Waits

I am waiting for the man to come with his long ladder and fix my guttering.

I discovered, while doing the ironing the other day, that water sheets down the corner of my living room, straight into my CD collection, whenever it rains heavily. The water is also slightly foamy, like bubble bath, which I can only assume is something to do with it coming through the timbers. Maybe some chemical thing is happening. Maybe it is ectoplasm and the house is haunted, after all.

I went upstairs and leaned out of the bedroom window to try to discover the source of the problem, but couldn't get close enough to the gutter to work out if it is blocked or corroded. All I could see was a lot of water apparently coming out of the bottom of it and cascading majestically down the side of the house. And the back of my neck. I ducked back inside and closed the window. It was late in the afternoon at the weekend so I sent up my distress flare (a short "help me!" email to Those Who Can Fix Things) and waited.

Yesterday I had two messages - count them, two! - informing me the man with the long ladder would be here some time today.

I waited all day for the man with the long ladder. I even left a useful note on the door just in case he came while I was in the shower this morning. It's dark now. I don't think he's coming. I'm going to move my CDs and hope for dry weather.

12 comments:

P Tom. said...

Sorry, but I did call round to rod out your guttering. I put up my ladder, climbed up and saw that you were in the shower so went away again, after about an hour.
I shall be calling round again tomorrow, Friday, Saturday and Sunday,
Yours gratefully,
Mr P Tom.

scheduler said...

What did you do with those last few mince pies...(not the gutter, no not the gutter)?

Did the CDs include the Water Music, and if not, do they now include "Sailing"?

Did you take your shower in the ordinary facilities or beneath the CD rack?

Could the foam in the water be caused by centuries of bat poo?

I think we really should be told these things...

Doris said...

P. Tom - I thought it was odd that the outside of the window was steamy after my shower.

Scheduler - there are always more questions than answers.

Troll Hunter said...

Why?

Doris said...

Troll Hunter - who knows?

Boz said...

There is something very Pinter-esque about the last paragraph of your post. I am reminded of Julie Walters in a Victoria Wood monologue to a am-dram group post-Hamlet rehearsal:

"It's not like Pinter, where you can more or less say what you like so long as you leave enough gaps...."

I hope the guttering gets mended though. CDs are ace.

Anonymous said...

It's a bad time of year for men with long ladders. Heavy workload, grumpy punters, unreasonable management.

Doris said...

Boz - I always suspected I had a literary bent.

Garry - when is the optimum time of year for men with long ladders then?

Boz said...

Anyway. It's not the size of your ladder. It's what you do with it.

Honest.

Doris said...

But Boz, those really long ladders reach places the stumpy little stepladders just can't.

Boz said...

Doris - you are ripping apart years of therapy and emotional support form friends...

Doris said...

Oh, Boz, I am sure you have many rungs to your ladder and have found it to be a most useful and effective implement.