Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Directory Enquiries

The phone rings.

"Good morning. Could you tell me, are you open today?"

"Yes we are. The house opens at 12 noon and last admission is at 4.30."

"Oh, thank you. You really should have a word with your organisation, there's nothing about your place in the book. "

"I'm sure we are in the handbook."

"Well I couldn't find you."

"Hang on, I'm just checking in my copy. Yes, here we are."


"In the section for the Midlands. Page 244."

"No, you're not there."

"Page 244? Are you on page 244?"

"It's Hadrian's Wall on page 244."

"Which book are you looking in? It is the 2008 version isn't it?"

"Yes! 2008/2009 English Heritage!"

"Ah. We're not English Heritage."


Monday, June 16, 2008


It has been a bumpy ride lately.

The weekend was full of drama and tears and resignations.

The drama and resignations were not mine, thankfully, but some of the tears were. It was heavy going.

We did have some lighter moments, though.

McColleague and I were trying to look up an item online, part of a crossbow. It is called a Goat's Foot lever and I typed the relevant words into Google.

"I'm just going to get pictures of actual goats feet now, aren't I?"

Lovely Warden spoke up from his corner of the office. "You don't want to know what I got when I searched for helmet sanitiser."

Sunday, June 01, 2008

Undercover Doris


I know, I have been quiet of late.

And now I have taken the blog to invite only! "What's going on?" I hear you - yes, you - wail.

Well, I write a monthly article for our local magazine. Often there is a bit of an overlap with what I write about on Stately Moans and what goes into print. Especially if a tight deadline is looming.

Some of you may remember a post I wrote a while back about a coach party. I tidied it up a little, made it user-friendly (I thought) and inoffensive and thought it would provide an amusing insight into managing a group of people who can't make up their minds what they want.

So I was somewhat dismayed to find an email from my Boss to say that he'd had a call from our Regional Office to say that a complaint about my article had been received and would I write no more until further notice. I hasten to add, it is just one letter, but rather than write to me, or the editor of the magazine, the complainant has chosen to go higher up the chain to inform the good people at Regional Office that I have "no empathy" for my visitors and that I should publicly apologise.

I have therefore decided to lay low until this situation is resolved. I have no reason to think anyone would search online to see if other amusing/offensive (depending on your point of view) articles on coach parties have been written, but decided to err on the side of caution until I am satisfied that all my posts on Stately Moans are safe to air.

Normal service will be resumed as soon as possible.