Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Decipher This

I have been away for the last few days, refreshing those skills which enable me to facilitate my modules with confidence and enthusiasm. I am now more enthused and motivated to develop and promote the six standards of customer care.

Yes, that's the way I have had to speak. That is the language of the print-outs and Powerpoint Presentations.

Can you work out, from that morass of management-speak above, what I have actually been up to?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ever since I caught a nasty dose of Powerpoint poisoning a few years back, I have a note from my Mum excusing me from such activities ...

cogidubnus said...

I hear what you say, but feel that there is still a degree of imprecision, and in order obviate undue confusion it is clearly imperative that we touch base to check that we're all singing from the same songsheet.

Why don't you run it up the flagpole so we can all have meaningful discussion on its virtues or otherwise, and jointly formulate a policy to ensure that all parties are proportionally empowered?

Troll Hunter said...

Isn't it obvious? You can now facilitate blue-sky thinking outside the box to self-enable infrastructure implementation in a proactive environment.

Duh!

Sweaty said...

What you've actually been up to is between you and your probation officer. However, I hope you are now fully acquainted with the six standards of customer care:
1. I don't actually work here mate, ask someone else.
2. You are confusing me with someone who gives a shit.
3. I take on board your comments but don't you think the universe is big.......I mean REALLY big, man?
4. Ok, donkeybottom, outside!!
5. You wanna complain? Look at these shoes, I've only 'ad 'em three weeks!
6.I'm sorry Sir/Madam, perhaps you didn't see our company motto above the door? It is "Cranius Aquatis Temperatus Maxiumus". It means "Go and boil your head!". Have a nice day.

Anonymous said...

Powerpoint presentations - is that where they show you some words on a screen, read them out to you, then give you a handout with the same words on?

Sometimes there's a picture as well, if there's something vaguely relevant in the clip art file.

Anonymous said...

Oh, and I hope nobody moved your cheese.

Doris said...

I can sense that you have all suffered similarly and feel my pain.