Thursday, June 21, 2007

But is it art?

I received an email informing me that the Learning Officer would be organising a two day art partnership event, with an artist present both days to work with the visiting school classes. Felt making and sculpture, it said.

The days it was due to happen coincided with my days off. On the morning of the first day I encountered Lovely Warden on site, as I walked the dog. He had just pounded in an avenue of fence posts in the orchards, as per the instructions of our Learning Officer.

"What's all this for?" he asked me.

I explained about the art and sculpture thing.

"But what are these posts for?"

I shrugged. I had no idea.

Bidding him farewell I made good my escape for the rest of the day. When I returned I boggled at the sight before me. That couldn't be it, surely? Maybe it wasn't finished yet.

I went out again on the second day. I returned later that evening and, yes, that really was it. After two days, and at great expense, having involved the time and labour of Lovely Warden to install numerous fence posts and hiring the talents of a professional artist, the end result was a collection of tattered tramp beards on a line, slap bang in front of the house, ruining the view.

And no matter which angle I looked at it from, it didn't get any better. No amazing sculpture revealed itself.

Still, that night the big storm came and the next morning only the posts remained. How very fortuitous.


Reg Pither said...

God does indeed move in a mysterious way.......mainly because he thinks art is a good, old fashioned painting of his lad nailed up and surrounded by angels and people weeping and NOT a collection of used sanitary towels hung on a clothesline in a field full of cowshit.
Say what you like, he may not know much about art but he knows what he likes!

monica said...

Shocking stuff.

Thank God the rains came ...

stitchwort said...

If I spent all day making a bit of felt, I'd take it home with me.

On the other hand, the blue string and the posts are quite pleasant, but the blue string could have been better used to make Blue String Pudding. (The Clangers, I think.)

cogidubnus said...

I've been desperately trying to put together an awful "stake" or "steak" pun, but I'm afraid this terrible joke by the National Trust trumps anything I could manage ... is this really how the money (including lottery and public funding) is squandered?

Doris said...

Reg - who am I to argue with an act of God?

Monica - I was beyond shocked and ventured into stunned territory.

Stitchwort - the posts are the best part. I have no issue with the posts.

Cogidubnus - fortunately it was not our organisation's money that went into this project. Which is just as well as we don't have any. We provided the venue, the rest was learning based funding I believe.

Garry said...

I'm not sure about your posts and, er, bits... But this glacier you phone up is definitely Art.

Or something.