Thursday, July 12, 2007


There is a field of maize right next to the car park.

There was some talk of making a Maize Maze to entertain our visitors and generate a little extra income for the farmer.

There was further talk of making it in the shape of a badger.

I could spot a couple of major flaws in these plans.

1. The maize is still only ankle height. It is not going to be a challenging experience. By the time the maize has grown tall enough to create a truly enjoyable maze experience it will probably be the end of the visitor season.

2. My Boss is unlikely to employ a professional maze maker to create the badger motif. No. It will most likely fall to Lovely Warden to try to fashion something that looks vaguely like an animal out of uprooted plants. I foresee a blobby thing with four protuberances.

The ultimate nail in the Maize Maze coffin came earlier today. Our Learning Officer has been creating flyers to send out to various bodies, announcing the forthcoming attraction.

"Our Property's Maize Maze," the title proclaims. "Can you help our badger back to his set?"

And beneath it, this:
I am bewildered. What word had she intended to use, really? I mean, this is the work of our Learning Officer. How could she have looked at this and thought, "Yup. Job well done. That'll get them in"? How did she put them in envelopes and pop them in the post without once thinking "Hang on a minute! Not rabid. No. Fluffy! That's what I meant!"

I am not sure this is the best marketing ploy we've ever tried, myself.


Geoff said...

Just say the badger's eating sherbert.

stitchwort said...

Nearly choked myself laughing (or should that be NCML?)

Boz said...

yes but the point is that every now and again we must all try NEW THINGS. Apparentely under some misguided idea that these are better than the OLD THINGS we are familiar with.

Will said...

There's actually a record label called Rabid Badger - I guess she swiped the logo from there. RB's an imprint of the Fierce Panda label, which also later gave birth to a further imprint, which went by the amazing title of Livid Meercat.

I'm not even joking!


Doris said...

Geoff - it's times like these that McColleague and I regret throwing out our moth-eaten stuffed badger. We could have had great fun with that and a tin of shaving foam.

Stitchwort - you and me both!

Boz - I like new things that are also good.

Will - ooh, thanks for that. I had a feeling she must have robbed it from t'internet, and this confirms it.