Wednesday, February 07, 2007

The Big Freeze Frenzy


The moat is frozen, snow is forecast and there was no buggery bastard bread to be had in the supermarket. The shelves were entirely cleaned out. Arsing panic-buyers. I bet they have freezers full of bread now. Loaves and loaves of it. I actually needed bread, I only had four slices left. Thank god my daughter knows how to make bread happen with flour and stuff.

10 comments:

cogidubnus said...

Nothing to stick your cow between eh? (You'll have to do a Desperate Doris and go for Cow Pie instead).

Incidentally I've checked the Warburtons and Hovis websites and nowhere can I find buggery bastard bread...is this something new? (loaves cut the other way, or from outside the wrapper perhaps?)...

Anyway, since you're obviously seeking to provoke a round a appalling puns (kneeding the dough etc), shall we bypass those and go for the more cutting (or slicing?) ones about panic-buyers being inbred? (groan)

stitchwort said...

Think I'll go and make some bread. There should be some buggery bastard flour somewhere in the cupboard (best before March 2004).

Boz said...

I tried to make cakes last year. The flour had things living in it.

I moved house shortly thereafter.

monica said...

today all i fancied was toast with marmite, and buggery bastard flour makes me sick
*sigh*

cogidubnus said...

Ahh Marmite (the heartfelt cry of hopeful fathers eveywhere)...

KAZ said...

I hope you save some of the bread for those poor ducks.
Is the one on the right an Egyptian Goose?

stitchwort said...

(Friday)
Hey, thanks for the idea - the buggery bastard flour made wonderful bread. Only trouble is, it's nearly all gone now....

Doris said...

Cogidubnus, buggery bastard bread is the best, which is why it is so hard to get hold of.

Stitchwort - glad to hear the bread making went well. Of course it's nearly all gone, you used the always popular buggery bastard flour.

Boz - sounds like you had an attack of the weevils.

Monica - you could always try eating marmite off a pencil, as bread is a no-no for you. I call that recipe Diet Twiglets.

Kaz - the ducks are both mallards, though we do have some Khaki Campbells too. They don't get to eat the bread, but we do give them corn every day.

cogidubnus said...

We have a Khaki Campbell and a Dark Campbell...and goodness does that Indian Runner ancestry show when they tuck up their skirts and dash for it; bread is distinctly a no-no for ducks and ours live on commercial layers pellets with occasional treats (finely chopped tomato or grated carrot etc). We've probably got it all wrong but they do seem to enjoy life...so long as we can keep the dreaded avian flu away...

KAZ said...

Thanks Doris: I feel stupid now - when you double click the pic it's obviously a mallard.
We have a colony of Egyptian Geese round here and (with it's legs out of the water) it did look like one.