Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Mighty Mallet


This is Lovely Warden's latest creation. McColleague and I discovered it in the bird hide. It is a massive, hand crafted wooden mallet. I do not know why Lovely Warden has made it and am reluctant to ask (it takes all the fun out of guessing, for a start).

Is it for giant games of croquet? Dealing with the squirrels who steal the nuts meant for the birds? What uses can there be for a giant wooden mallet in a bird hide?

12 comments:

Reg Pither said...

He probably misheard you. He probably thought you said he'd look good with a big mullet.

Flowering Jasmine said...

Before i hazard a guess can i ask how heavy it is? Can you lift it? Can you pick it up and swing it?
It's HUGE!

cogidubnus said...

It could be for making the Sandwich Terns fit between the pieces of bread, or even manufacturing a Mallard Fizz...It'd certainly make a Swallow gulp...(Choughed if I know where these all came from!)...

However, the real answer is far more mundane...when he gets back with the paint, it's going to be...
(wait for it...)
v
v
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v
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v
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A Yellowhammer! (groan)

monica said...

for whacking really big bad birds? surely not.

perhaps a prototype pogo stick

Doris said...

Reg - *groan*. I like it though.

Jasmine - It's very heavy, far too heavy for McColleague or I to comfortably swing!

Cogidubnus - you and Reg should form a double act!

Monica - hmmmm... it wasn't terribly bouncy....

Ginny said...

Hmm... it's a medieval Cuisinart?

Doris said...

Ginny - that's good suggestion! Purees, blends and tenderises!

Anonymous said...

He heard that women like men with large 'wood'

stitchwort said...

It might be a war-mallet, for bashing stray knights who fall into the moat....

cogidubnus said...

"you and Reg should form a double act!"

Cogipither? Regidubnus?

Gawd it don't bear thinking abaht...

Doris said...

Anonymous - he probably hears that a lot...

Stitchwort - it would be terribly effective - any knight in armour hit with that while in the moat would be permanently embedded in several feet of silt.

Cogidubnus - I quite like it...

cogidubnus said...

"Cogidubnus - I quite like it..."

Yes I'd heard that, but I was far too gentlemanly to mention it...